fun
Hindi Ako Ma-Iinlove Sayo! Period.

“pwede ba wag ka ngang maharot dyan! Kalalaki mong tao, tsaka tingnan mo nga oh yung mga babae ng buhay mo nakatigin na sa atin.” Sigawko sa bestfriend kong si HYUN.

            Btw I’m Jessica cute, beautiful, smart, tall, maputi at sikat sa school dahil sa maharot, flirt at gwapo kung bestfriend. Sa totoo lang hindi naman talaga siya maharot at flirt kasi yung mga girls lang lumalapit sa kanya at akala mo mga lintang ewan kung makadikit eh wagas. So yun, sikat ako dahil sa kanya, ikaw ba naman ang maging bestfriend ang isang Hyun Christopher na “SUPER CASSANOVA” ewan ko nalang kung maging matino pa ang buhay mo dito.

            You know what kasi guys, this guy is a transferee from the United States pero magaling siyang magtalagalog so walang kahirap-hirap na makipag-kwentuhan sa kanya at tsaka kahit sino naman atah kinaki-usap nito.

            Itatanung nyo ba kung panu ko ito naging best friend?…ok please read this ok?…

SHORT FLASHBACK EVER!

“ok class meet your new classmate! Mr. Hyun Christopher.”..ok palakpakan ang lahat, ako naman tamang makijoin lang! bakit kasi kelangan pa ng palakpakan eh new student lang naman, hindi naman president ng pilipinas yan. Tsk tsk.

            “hi guys, nice to meet you all!”… ok bumati na siya at tilian ang mga girl specially ang linta girls.

“cge na Mr. Hyun you may take your seat bago ka pa kainin ng mga girls.” Yeah right nangangain sila, bukod sa linta ang mga yun eh grainder din haahahahaahahaha…how funny naman, can’t imagine that.

            Dahil nga wala akong pakialam sa nangyayari sa aking paligid eh ayun, hindi ko namalayan na nakatingin ang whole crowd sa akin. Wow sikat na pala ako ngayun how bilis naman?..tas paglingon ko. Wew kaya pala tsk.

            “hi miss, pwede ba akong umupo dito sa tabi mo?”.. tanung ni Hyun.

            “ah ok sure, wala naman akong magagawa!”.. matabang kung sagot.

END OF THE SHORT FLASHBACK EVER»> oh di’ba?…

Ganito di seatmate na kami, sabi niya nung minsan sa isang maliit na papel na tipong kailangan mo ng magnifying glass para masipat lang yung bawat letter eh ito “HOY SIMULA NGAYUN BEST FRIEND NA KITA, BAWAL KA NANG UMANGAL. NAKATADHANA NA YUN!”..oh anu bongga hindi ba?.. napag-kasya nya yun. And yun nga mag-bestfriend na kami!

            Back to the reality! (wew kinikilig ako sa kanta ng cn blue: TRY AGAIN SMILE„try this one guys hahahaha)

            “hindi naman ako maharot eh, tsaka hayaan mo lang sila. Bestfriends lang tayo kaya, walang malisya sa ginagawa natin!”..sagot ng baliw kung bestfriend.

            Kasi naman alam mo yung ang daming tao sa paligid nyo tapos bigla nalang siyang yayakap sa may bewang mo at hihilig yung ulo sa balikat dahil lang daw inaantok na siya. Haist kung di ko ito kilala at di kami ganun kaclose eh masasabi kung manyak toh, pero hindi naman kasi ganun talaga siya!

            “hoy umayos ka naman! Grabe ka naman PDA na tayo oh!”..bulong ko,

            “anung PDA eh hindi naman tayo!”…sagot niya, sarap sapakin nito.

            “yun na nga hindi tayo pero ganyan ka maka-asta sa akin, wow huh grabe kana talaga!”… bulong ko ulit. Nakakahiya na kasi you know.

            “asus, teka nga lang!”… umayos siya ng upo at humarap sa akin at tumitig ng seryoso. “wait lang don’t tell me inlove kana sa akin kaya ka naiilang huh?” sabay ngiti.

            Woah anak ng tokwa naman oh! Bakit nga ba ako naiilang? Pero wait hindi anu mali ang iniisip mo, nyo ta niya mali talaga!..           

“huh? Ako?..maiinlove sayo?…excuse me, HINDI AKO MAIINLOVE SAYO! PERIOD.”…sagot ko parang ang init ng muka ko? Ganito oh…(*////////////////////////////*)

            “asus hindi nga? Eh bakit ang pula mo na?”… sabi niya,… oh my gas nahalata niya na!

            “ewan ko sayo, hindi tayo talo kaya pwede ba?”…sabay takbo ko at umalis na ako. Hindi ko na hinintay na abutan pa niya ako, kasi baka baka baka. Ah arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg I hate this.

            Hapun na hindi ko siya, pinansin at ayun umuwi na ako ng bahay namin. Hindi na ako nagpa-abot pa, buti na nga lang at yung mga linta eh naharang siya kaya ayun hindi niya ako inabot ulit.

            Pagkadating ko sa amin, agad na akong umakyat sa aking kwarto at hindi na ako nag-paistorbo pa! Habang nakahiga ako, hindi ko maiwasang maisip at ma-imagine yung tigtig niyang yun sa akin, first time kasi niyang ginawa yun sa akin at ayun nafeel ko yung feeling na hindi dapat.

            Hindi ako tomboy or something, ayaw ko lang ma-attach sa isang taong kilala na akong masyado. Yun ang iniiwasan ko ang mainlove ako sa taong malapit sa akin, kaya nga medyo nag-kikilos lalaki ako eh kasi nga ayaw ko talaga. Pero sa totoo lang simula nung nag-18th birthday ako, nagbago na ang lahat.

            Nun kasing nag-18 ako, lahat nabago na, hindi lang sa akin pati sa kanya din. Katulad nung kanina, sa school oo sanay naman ako na ganun siya sa akin pero simula nung nag-18 ako mas naging malambing at sweet pa siya sa akin, hindi ko yun pinapansin kasi nga BFF kami.

Pero nito lang isang linggo sa mall, nanuod kami ng movie, then paglabas namin may tatlong lalaki sa labas, di ko sila kilala pero kilala nila ako. Lumapit yung isa tapos sabi niya kung pwede makuha yung number ko, ang ginawa niya pinapunta niya ako sa likod niya at sinabi niya dun sa mga lalaki na hindi daw pwede kasi may boyfriend daw ako sabay hawak niya sa kamay ko at itinaas ito para ipakita sa guy at para ipaalam na siya daw yung bf ko. So yun umalis na yung mga lalaki.

Hay grabe, ayaw kung magbigay ng meaning sa lahat ng yun pero kasi alam mo yun hindi siya ganun ka protective sa akin dati at ni hindi nga niya ako pinapakialamanan eh. Kahit sa school yung mga baliw na batang school mate namin na nagbibigay ng bulaklak at naga-I love you sa akin hindi niya pinapasin, nakikiloko pa siya. Kaya naman sabog na sabog ang araw ko.

“aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggg ang sakit ng ulo ko, anu kaba naman bakit ba ikaw nalang ang napasok sa isip ko!”…

“wag mo na kasi akong isipin. Naku masama yan baka mabaliw ka, ayaw ko pa naman sa baliw!”…may lalaking natawa sa paanan ko…wait si si si si si oo siya nga!

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!” sigaw ko sa pagkagulat at sabay laglag ko sa kama. Ang sakit yanu.

            Tumayo ako syempre ang sakit huh.“anung ginagawa mo dito? Di ka man lang kumatok sa pinto!”… masungit kong sabi.

            “ah hehehehe sorry, naforgot ko eh, nasanay na kasi ako!” malamig niyang sagot.

            Na-konsensya naman ako dun, grabe ah.

            “hmmm sige ok na yun! Wait lang anu ba talagang ginagawa mo dito? Hindi ka naman nag-text na pupunta ka!”… mahinahon ko ng tanung.

            “ah hmmmm wala lang trip ko lang, ginagawa ko din naman yun dati di’ba?”.. oo nga pala, anu bang nangyayari sa akin?

            “hmmmm sorry!” sagot ko nalang.

            “Jess, can we talk?”…awwww I don’t like this feeling.

            “hmmmmm yeah sure, tungkol saan ba?”… tanung ko..

            “ah gusto ko sana hindi dito, pwede bang dun tayo sa favorite place natin?”… sabi niya na may malamlam na muka.

            “ah ok sige!”

            At ayun nga umalis na kami ng bahay at pumunta sa favorite place namin.

            Pagkadating namin, pareho lang kaming tahimik at nakaupo dun sa swing. Oo park ang favorite place namin, napunta kami kapag-malapit na ang sunset ang ganda kasing pagmasdan dito.

            “Hmmmmm Jess, pwede bang magtanung?”… una na siyang nagsalita.

            “ah sige anu yun?” sagot ko habang nakatingin sa mga bituin sa langit.

            “yung sinabi mo kanina na HINDI KA MAIINLOVE sa akin, totoo ba yun?”.. . anu bang tinatanung niya.

            “ah oo naman he he he he, hindi ba sabi mo bawal tayong mahulog sa isa’t-isa?”… matapang kung sagot.

            “ah oo nga pala hehehe!” sagot niya. Nagulat nalang ako kasi, hmmmm hindi ko alam pero parang narinig kung suminghap siya!

            “hmmmm Hyun ok ka lang ba?”… tanung ko!..

            “oo naman ako pa! he he he he salamat sa pagiging honest mo ha!”.. nakatingala lang siya at ang gwapo niyang tingnan, at parang may nakita akong umagos na tubig sa gilid ng mga pisngi niya.

            “he he he he wala yun, were best of friends so kailangang honest tayo di’ba?”… sagot ko at tumingala na din ako.

Gusto ko ng umiyak dahil alam kung nasaksaktan ko na siya sa mga sinasabi ko at pati ang sarili ko niloloko ko, pero hindi ko kasi kaya pa sa ngayun at hindi pa ako sigurado sa naramramdaman ko.

            Sa ngayun masaya na ako sa pagiging mag-kaibigan namin, hindi ko kasi kaya na mawala yung friendship between us. Ayaw kung masayang yun dahil sa mga nararamdaman namin, alam ko namang may nararamdaman siya sa akin, pero ako ang may problema hindi ako sigurado.

            Kinabukasan, maagap akong pumasok hindi ko alam kung anung merun pero himala atah at ang agap ng mga kaklase namin, bihira atah itong mangyari. Kaya naman ako dahil akala ko wala lang, nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagpasok sa room.

            “Ms. Jessica!”. Tawag ni Mam Castillo.

            “yes Mam?”… sagot ko sabay lapit kay mam.

            May inabot lang sa akin si Mam na sulat at pagkatapos nun umupo na ako sa upuan ko. Natapos ang klase namin, half day lang kami dahil sa urgent meeting. Hindi ko nakita si Hyun, anu kayang nangyari dun?

            “hoy Jessica!”…tawag ni May sa akin.

            “HMMM anu yun?”… tanung ko.

            “nag-away ba kayo ni Hyun?”… tanung niya na ikinagulat ko.

            “huh anu bang sinasabi nyo?”…nagtataka kung tanung. Wala akong alam sa tinatanung niya at bukod pa dun lalo akong naguluhan dahil hindi nila ako sinagot at sa halip umiyak ang linta.

            Dahil dun umalis na ako ng room. Nakalabas na ako ng gate ng school ng makita ko yung sasakyan nila Hyun. Bukas yung pinto at andun sa loob yung ate ni Hyun, nag-sign siya na pumasok daw ako dun sa kotse. Lumapit naman ako at pumasok sa loob, tahimik lang siya at ngumiti sa akin. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyayari pero hindi nalang ako kumibo.

            Medyo naiinip na ako sa katahimikan, kaya nagsalita na ako.

            “Ate Carol hmmmm san po ba tayo pupunta? Asan po si Hyun?”..tanung ko.

            “ah pupunta tayo sa mall!”..yun lang ang sagot ni Ate Carol.

            Hindi na ako kumibo, sumunod nalang ako. Nakarating na kami ng mall tapos kumain kami sa favorite food chain namin ni Hyun. After that pumunta sa kami sa tambayan naming book store, san pa eh di sa ‘teeeeeeeettttt’ he he he. Naalala ko tuloy yung mga ginagawa namin dun ni Hyun, napunta lang kami dun para maningin ng kung anu-anu. Tapos pumunta kami ni Ate Carol sa Penshoppe at binili niya yung gusto kung bonnet at ibinigay ito sa akin, hindi ko alam kung bakit dahil ayaw namang sabihin ni Ate Carol kung bakit niya ito ginagawa.

            Lumipas ang ilang oras, ngayun nagbibyahe na kami at hindi ko lam kung saan ako dadalhin ni Ate Carol. Nagulat nalang ako ng tumigil kami sa may park, dun sa park na favorite namin ni Hyun. Bumaba kami at naglakad papunta sa may swing, umupo kami dun at napansin ko na malapit na ang sunset.

            “Jess, nabasa mo na ba?”..tanung ni Ate Carol.

            “hmmmmalin po?”… nagtataka kung tanung. Kasi wala talaga akong idea sa nangyayari..

            “mukang hindi mo pa nga nababasa!”…malungkot niyang tanung.

            Maalala ko may sulat nga palang binigay si Mam kanina. Agad kung kinuha yung sulat sa bag ko at habang ginagawa ko yun tumayo na si Ate Carol at mukang pasakay na siya ulit sa kotse.

            “Ate Carol salamat!” ..pahabol ko sabay ngiti at kaway.

            Ngumiti lang si ate, pagkatapos nun eh nabalik na ulit yung atensyon ko sa sulat. Binuklat ko ito at nagulat ako sa nakita kung mga nakasulat dito. Hindi ko napigilang umiyak habang binabasa ang laman ng sulat ni Hyun.

            Hindi ko akalaing ganito kasakit ang magiging ending ng lahat, dapat pala kagabi sinabi ko na sa kanya na nagsinungaling ako, hindi totoo na hindi ako pwedeng mainlove sa kanya, kasi ang totoo mahal ko na siya. Hindi ko lang maamin dahil natatakot ako na baka mawala yung pagkaka-ibigan namin at hindi pa ako sigurado. Pero ngayun huli na ang lahat dahil wala na siya, umalis na siya at baka hindi ko na siya makita ulit.

            “I’m sorry Hyun, I’m sorry!”… yan nalang ang nasabi ko habang yakap ko yung sulat at nakatingin ako sa palubog na araw.

a/n: gusto nyo bang malaman kung anu ang laman nung sulat?…. hmmmm panu yun eh nakaprivate kasi eh…hehehehe feel ko lang…!!!!…thanks guys please comment and vote kayo huh…naku naku…kung may typo man sorry kasi hindi ko napigil na umiyak habang tinatype ito kasi may naalala lang ako hahahaha….kung di kayo naiyak ayos lang, ako nalang mababaw ang luha ko eh.

[ENGSUB] 121214 CNBLUE GO Show (1/5) (by Faith @CNBLUE4U)

i just can’t help my self on watching every pictures of him and mostly his cute dimples and smile

superamit:

One year ago today my doctor called me in the afternoon.
I was in bed. He cleared his throat a couple times and then he told me the reason I’d been feeling weak, seeing weird blindingly bright spots in my vision, and had a fever that wouldn’t go away was because my blood was full of ineffective, malformed white blood cells.
I had AML leukemia. If I did nothing, I’d die in a few weeks. 
A few hours later, I had a flight to the East Coast booked for early the next morning. I spent the night in a San Francisco hospital getting blood transfusions and antibiotics to allow me to fly.
I landed in NYC, my parents picked me up, and we drove to Yale’s Smilow Cancer Hospital. When they started pumping cell-killing poison into my bloodstream, the hospital became my home and my prison for the next few months.
I cried. I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t believe it was true.
Friends banded together and started drives across the country, then across the globe. I did interview after interview. Newspapers, TV, and radio helped spread the word. Facebook, twitter, and tumblr got people to drives. I couldn’t leave the hospital, and sometimes I was throwing up too much or too weak to talk. We kept going.
We organized online, and my prison became our stem cell drive campaign headquarters.
Friends donated time, money, connections. Strangers sent mail, hundreds of photos, and organized drives. Celebrities made videos. Tens of thousands registered to be stem cell donors. (Matches for others in need continue to come out of those drives.)
The nurses and doctors continued to pump poison into my blood, eliminating cancerous cells and healthy cells alike. They hoped to hold the leukemia at bay until a donor could be found.
A few months later, we found a donor! Friends and strangers had banded together to save my life.
I had my transplant in late January. And then began the year-long recovery process I’m currently in:
15-20 pills a day, on-and-off steroids to combat Graft vs Host Disease, nausea, weakness, muscle atrophy, scopes down my throat, probes up my nose until they hit my throat. Weekly, then bi-monthly blood tests, immunosuppressants - which keep my immune system from attacking my organs, but also make me susceptible to disease. Needles, needles, needles, so many needles, fevers, infections, severe mucositis, so much pain they gave me a button to press to give myself morphine whenever I wanted, anti-nausea drugs that resulted in weeks of lost memories, blood clots, followed by months of blood thinners, teeth issues, corneal damage, a slate of other issues a little too graphic to write about, crazy painful out-of-nowhere hand and leg cramps…
…all bumps along the road.
My counts are up. There’s no sign of recurrence yet. If I’m lucky, there never will be. I feel more normal with each passing week.
I was able to leave the hospital, and then able to leave my parents’ home.
I got to spend the summer in NYC, reconnecting with old friends, and returning to work at Photojojo part-time. I just saw my brother get married, saw a live volcano in Hawaii, saw the sun set above the clouds and the clearest night sky in the world. I visited Portland for the first time, and spent a week in SF working and seeing friends. Now we’re planning a road trip to move back West. We leave in a few weeks… on motorcycles.
A year ago I was on a plane from SF to CT because I was dying.
Today I’m on a plane from SF to CT, and I feel more alive than I have in a very long time.
Photo @ Twin Peaks last week in SF. (You can see photos of our adventures by following @superamit on Instagram!)

superamit:

One year ago today my doctor called me in the afternoon.

I was in bed. He cleared his throat a couple times and then he told me the reason I’d been feeling weak, seeing weird blindingly bright spots in my vision, and had a fever that wouldn’t go away was because my blood was full of ineffective, malformed white blood cells.

I had AML leukemia. If I did nothing, I’d die in a few weeks.

A few hours later, I had a flight to the East Coast booked for early the next morning. I spent the night in a San Francisco hospital getting blood transfusions and antibiotics to allow me to fly.

I landed in NYC, my parents picked me up, and we drove to Yale’s Smilow Cancer Hospital. When they started pumping cell-killing poison into my bloodstream, the hospital became my home and my prison for the next few months.

I cried. I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t believe it was true.

Friends banded together and started drives across the country, then across the globe. I did interview after interview. Newspapers, TV, and radio helped spread the word. Facebook, twitter, and tumblr got people to drives. I couldn’t leave the hospital, and sometimes I was throwing up too much or too weak to talk. We kept going.

We organized online, and my prison became our stem cell drive campaign headquarters.

Friends donated time, money, connections. Strangers sent mail, hundreds of photos, and organized drives. Celebrities made videos. Tens of thousands registered to be stem cell donors. (Matches for others in need continue to come out of those drives.)

The nurses and doctors continued to pump poison into my blood, eliminating cancerous cells and healthy cells alike. They hoped to hold the leukemia at bay until a donor could be found.

A few months later, we found a donor! Friends and strangers had banded together to save my life.

I had my transplant in late January. And then began the year-long recovery process I’m currently in:

15-20 pills a day, on-and-off steroids to combat Graft vs Host Disease, nausea, weakness, muscle atrophy, scopes down my throat, probes up my nose until they hit my throat. Weekly, then bi-monthly blood tests, immunosuppressants - which keep my immune system from attacking my organs, but also make me susceptible to disease. Needles, needles, needles, so many needles, fevers, infections, severe mucositis, so much pain they gave me a button to press to give myself morphine whenever I wanted, anti-nausea drugs that resulted in weeks of lost memories, blood clots, followed by months of blood thinners, teeth issues, corneal damage, a slate of other issues a little too graphic to write about, crazy painful out-of-nowhere hand and leg cramps…

…all bumps along the road.

My counts are up. There’s no sign of recurrence yet. If I’m lucky, there never will be. I feel more normal with each passing week.

I was able to leave the hospital, and then able to leave my parents’ home.

I got to spend the summer in NYC, reconnecting with old friends, and returning to work at Photojojo part-time. I just saw my brother get married, saw a live volcano in Hawaii, saw the sun set above the clouds and the clearest night sky in the world. I visited Portland for the first time, and spent a week in SF working and seeing friends. Now we’re planning a road trip to move back West. We leave in a few weeks… on motorcycles.

A year ago I was on a plane from SF to CT because I was dying.

Today I’m on a plane from SF to CT, and I feel more alive than I have in a very long time.

Photo @ Twin Peaks last week in SF. (You can see photos of our adventures by following @superamit on Instagram!)

I made a comment about the story "IS IT TOO LATE TO SAY I LOVE YOU?!!(completed)" on Wattpad:@bleszcanoy hehehehe oo nga sayang….nasa huli ang pagsisisi…..^_________^..thanks sa pagvote at pagcocomment86 people have read this on WattpadRead Now

I made a comment about the story "IS IT TOO LATE TO SAY I LOVE YOU?!!(completed)" on Wattpad:

@bleszcanoy hehehehe oo nga sayang….nasa huli ang pagsisisi…..^_________^..thanks sa pagvote at pagcocomment


86 people have read this on Wattpad
Read Now

I just send a message to Jasmine_28_05

I just send a message to pveajane

I just send a message to batangmakulitchihiro

I just send a message to BleszCanoy

I just send a message to xXxiSTARGAZERxXx